I knew it. I knew the moment it happened. I had seen these eyes before. They were the familiar pair I had seen all too frequently in my hopes and dreams. It was that very same pair of eyes that looked over me in my sleep, hoping that they themselves would get a chance to have the same in return.
Through the fires of trials and tribulations we seek to find answers. We search our lives over for the person who can look us over and see the better version of ourselves. The person who can undress our souls with a glance that conveys the deepest meanings of love, admiration, and forgiveness. This delicate dance gives way to an equilibrium that offers us peace. The balance we are most likely to obtain in this life, does not always come from a person. When in fact it does, it can be the finest of rudders in the choppiest of seas, steering us where we need to be, when we need to be there.
Yes, I knew it. Her eyes were the eyes that would make the difference. Throughout my life and all my miscalculation of choice, her eyes would be the eyes that would save me from myself. When I look at her, I draw from it truth, regain my innocence lost, and plot a course of success, because she deserves for me to return that gift to her in the form of the world.
I have seen the sunset hit her eyes, and in those eyes I could see my reflection. In those seconds, I was able to see myself as she sees me, and I knew not only that I am imperfect and to be loved, but that she loves me.
These are the eyes that will forever save me from myself.
My days always start the same. A belief, that with each new day there is somehow a way to make all the wrong right, to choose to latch onto hope rather than embrace my own fears. Always asking myself the same question.
Is this all there really is?
I believe in things in this life.
I believe you should sometimes act first and never second guess yourself after.
I believe you should give your whole heart to someone.
I believe that a creative mind is a limitless mind.
I believe in sacrificing everything for all those I love.
I believe that balance is the single hardest thing to maintain in life.
I believe that failure at anything brings me one step closer to success.
I believe that even in my weaknesses, I find strengths.
I just simply want to believe in the idea of belief itself. As long as I believe in something or someone, especially myself and who and what I love, I have everything I need to get through this life and the next.
First of all, I wanted to thank all of you for the emails of support and encouragement. What started out as an outlet, has turned out to be so much more. I am not just satisfied that these words of encouragement on this page have been a point of relation, but I am fulfilled that they are able to touch, to move, and to cause a stirring of the soul. You guys are amazing for taking the time to read and to digest all of it.
This will be my last post until after the New Year. I want to take some time to reflect, and to spend time with my family who push me to be the best version of myself that is humanly possible. I do plan to take in as much as I can until the New Year so that 2014 can be the most self revealing year yet.
I want to leave you with a thought….
It always starts out with a nudge. A whisper. That delicate balance between what is the lie we tend to be convinced of, or the truth we have been in search of. It is always found in the small.
The smallest detail.
The smallest bit of digestible advice.
The smallest act of kindness.
The memorable lyric.
The smallest beauty nature has to offer.
We sometimes over look the small that will teach us the life lessons that leads us to the big. The big being not just the light at the end of some tunnel, but the tunnel itself that we must go through in order to become who we will be for the rest of our lives.